The first bloodiest day in Kyiv I ever saw
and how it made me who I am . Story of a Ukrainian
This is not Kramatorsk. Not Avdiivka. This is not 2024, not even 2022.
This is Kyiv, on this day 10 years ago. The bloodiest day I ever seen - or so I thought then. It was what will become known as the bloodiest day of Maidan - revolt of Ukrainian people that started as a peaceful protest against corrupt government controlled by russia but grew into a revolution.
I’ve never seen anything like it.
I remember standing on the Maidan Nezalezhnosti - Independence square - that gave Revolution of Dignity its name - I was standing there and looking at bonfires standing all over it, people walking around camps, discussing shifts, shouting orders , bringing gear, people with trays running between them with simple snack and tea to keep people at least somehow warm. It was thrilling , exciting and horrifying at the same time. Like if I suddenly got in the middle of medieval war camp you’ve only saw in movies before. I’ve never felt anything like it. I’ve never been this scared.
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Black smoke from burning tyres. Black sand under the feet - pavement stones were taken out so they could be used as a weapon against government controlled forces.
It was painful to see my Kyiv like that.
But February 20 was something else.
At least 48 people were killed by government forces this day .
It was reported later that a total of 2,500 people were injured during the Revolution of Dignity - another way we call Maidan. 104 were killed - Heavenly Hundred, we call them - most of them in February, right around this time 10 years ago.
For each of them, Plyve Kacha was played. Right there, on Maidan square. Over and over and over.
I remember sitting in my room , listening to explosions - even while it was at least 30 minutes drive to the city centre. You’d hear them from wherever you’d be in the city. I remember how I was crying , over people I never met. Never seen. I was crying over them being killed there, somewhere in between the black smoke of tyres, flames of bonfires , in between people shouting, running, throwing Molotov cocktails, trying to get out the wounded, trying to keep the line.
Somewhere in the middle of my chest,
it was,
growing,
something I didn’t even have a name for.
Like if the part of my body that was numb all this time - and now suddenly had blood coming right through it
I felt connected.
To everyone.
and it felt, like love.
On February 22 pro-russian president Yanukovych ran away - I remember breathing out this “we won”
we won
I felt lightheaded. felt everything is possible.
Kyiv was wounded, torn, black from smokes and bonfires - but now it was okay. We were going to fix him, to hug him, to rebuild everything…
but it’s hard to plan when russia is your neighbour.
In a bit more than a week we’ll realise russia got its forces into Crimea and shortly after annexed it. In a next few month, in June 2014, russian military will start invasion into Eastern Ukraine’s cities of Donetsk and Luhansk, calling themselves “green men” and “polite people” .
and in 8 years, in February again, putin will make his lifelong dream come true, at last and will attack Kyiv with missiles and start a full-scale war against Ukraine.
And now, it’s gonna be 2 years of it soon, making it 10 years of war overall.
10 years.
You know,
I remember reading the stories about Ukrainians in school, real and fictional, heroically fighting for Ukraine, for its language, culture, for the even possibility of idea, over and over again,
and I remember thinking ( with a certain disappointment and a sigh),
that my life - of course - will never be like this. It will be grey and boring.
I know, right?
Hilarious.
Thank you for your continuous support. Your kind support makes it possible for me to continue sharing stories about Ukraine and let the world know about war russia started against us. If you want to join my effort, you can support my work via buy me a coffee.
Дякую.
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Thank you.
Thank you so much, Margo. I had read about the fighting in 2014. I saw the documentary. I couldn’t believe how hard people fought against the Ruzzians. Now, we know why.
I voted in our primary elections today. I will go to the protest on Saturday. i will nag my American representatives and senators until they do what is right and necessary to help Ukraine.
You are not alone.